


Playing in Parts

by Swissfics



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Gen, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kinda, Little comfort, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 13:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15413550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swissfics/pseuds/Swissfics
Summary: He was sure when it was over he threatened death on the sorcerer who simply smiled, shook his head, and pulled him in for a hug even though Tony still had the gauntlet on.Tony pretended it wasn’t the first real thing he’s felt in years.





	Playing in Parts

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you” - Maya Angelou

 

From when he was very young Tony Stark was taught how to act. He grew up around large crowds of people with very large pockets. His father was Howard and Maria Stark after all; they had a reputation to live up to. Tony never found himself nervous around these crowds because he was taught to act like it came naturally. He would watch his father and mother for examples of this, but he could never tell the truths from the lies. Even when the parties were over and everyone was at home they never dropped their defenses even with their own son. Howard kept Tony at a distance whenever he wasn’t yelling at him for whatever he wanted to yell at him for at the time. Maria wasn’t much better. She was a textbook mother- really only there when she thought he really needed her. Apparently he didn’t need her much at all.

Tony was also taught how to ignore his feelings and to play them off. Howard was yelling at him again one night, and Tony knew if he were to cry it would only get worse, so he does the opposite. He smiles up at his father and told him he’ll try to do better, but that only hurt him worse. If Tony were to think hard enough about it he would still feel the sting of were his cheek met his father's fist. Tony took this lesson and tucked it away for when he would be dragged off to the next party. He quickly learned he was an accessory to his parents there. He was to be quiet and only spoke once he was spoken to. That's when he would act and play his part.

Adjusting to college was hard on him. Tony was obviously around adults growing up, so he didn’t know how to act when he was around those close to his age. Tony was 15 when he met James Rhodes at MIT, and Tony realized with Rhodey that he didn’t have to call everyone older than him “sir” or “Ma’am.”

Tony’s parents died when he was 21 and left him nothing but money and legacy. He felt overwhelming anger and sadness. He didn’t know how to feel. Obadiah Stane and Pepper Potts helped him adjust enough. Tony, Pepper, and Obadiah had a system: Obadiah would run weapon sells, Tony would run manufacturing, and Pepper would play support with all the details. It worked until Obadiah betrayed him.

Adjusting to Ironman was weirdly easy, but adjusting to the Avengers was weirdly hard. Throughout the span of the time they were together Tony would appreciate the small things about the team. The weird way Thor and Hulk got along, the way Clint and Natasha were so easy with each other, and the way Cap would relax when they were around. He never thought about what he felt- not really. Always working or always moving; Tony never stood still long enough. He didn’t really feel like he would be missed anyways.

He started having obvious signs of anxiety and depression. Days where getting out of bed was basically asking him to forget the first line of JARVIS’ coding  _ impossible. _ It never really got better. He just had to push through the days and remind himself there's always something he specifically needed to do. Even if he felt like someone could do it just as well as he could.

Tony doesn’t like to think about Ultron, or “ _ The Civil War _ ” or Wanda Maximoff playing off his fears. He doesn’t still have nightmares about it even when it's all over.  _ He doesn’t. _

Thanos and his  _ Infinity War  _ wasn’t any better. It's like facing a fear that's been going at his mind for as long as he cared to remember. He played his part and did what he had to do. Even though it was hard, confusing, and he was so angry at the one who knew what was going to happen. He was sure when it was over he threatened death on the sorcerer who simply smiled, shook his head, and pulled him in for a hug even though Tony still had the gauntlet on. 

Tony pretended it wasn’t the first real thing he’s felt in years.


End file.
